


What You Want vs. What You Need

by ivoryandhorn



Series: Old Friends, New Skins [1]
Category: Katekyou Hitman Reborn
Genre: 1000-3000 words, Age Difference, Alternate Universe, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-07-16
Updated: 2008-07-16
Packaged: 2017-10-04 16:21:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,417
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/32134
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ivoryandhorn/pseuds/ivoryandhorn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He's not the man Gokudera wants him to be.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What You Want vs. What You Need

**Author's Note:**

> Set during the Future Arc, so...spoilers for that.
> 
> The pairing should rightly read future!Gokudera/Tsuna (with hints of future!Gokudera/future!Tsuna).
> 
> Written for a [Shounen Jump Kink Meme](http://distilled.livejournal.com/508988.html) on LJ. In my head this is an AU where Hibari was brought forward instead of Gokudera.

"There you go, boss," Gokudera says, smoothing the cloth along Tsuna's arms. "You look just like yourself now."

The suit's too big for Tsuna, really, even though it's been cut down to fit his shorter arms and legs (probably by Haru or Kyoko, sewing late into the night, he thinks guiltily). The blazer and slacks hang awkwardly on his skinny frame. Tsuna tries to imagine being ten years older, with a few more inches on him and the muscle to fill the expensively tailored clothes—tries to imagine waking up every day with Kyoko beside him, waking up to pull on a suit and to order people to kill and to die—but he can't, not really. It's weird to think of ten years ahead when he's barely sure of which high school he'll be attending in two, when he's not sure he'll even _live_ to see his middle school graduation.

Gokudera hovers nervously behind him as Tsuna frowns at his reflection in the mirror, his own shirtsleeves rolled up, perennial cigarette dangling from the corner of his mouth. "Well, boss?"

Tsuna turns around. He can see that Gokudera hurts, inside where it doesn't show, and he also sees that he can't do anything about it, not really. But he wants—just once, at least—to feel like he knows what he's doing and that what he's doing is the right thing, that all this—this _faith_ everyone has in him because of the man he will become, wants to feel that all that belief won't be in vain. "Gokudera," he says nervously. He reaches up to pluck the cigarette from Gokudera's mouth, stubbing it out on a nearby ashtray.

"Yeah, boss?"

This Gokudera's way taller than him but he leans down without resistance when Tsuna tugs on his tie, pulling him down to kiss him—he knows a little what he's doing, from TV and manga and watching high schoolers make out on street corners, but that's not much.

"T-Tenth—" Gokudera stutters, but Tsuna tugs insistently on his shirtsleeves, so he shuts up and falls to his knees and now _Tsuna's_ the one who has to tilt his head down for the kiss, and when Gokudera's mouth falls open he nervously pushes his tongue in. This shiver runs down his spin as he listens to his grown-up best friend moan for more.

The kiss isn't actually as awkward as Tsuna had thought kissing would have been, what with tongues being in other people's mouths and stuff. Gokudera's a weird mix of encouraging and—and just being there, making little noises so Tsuna can sort of figure out what to do with himself, but not making any moves himself. Until his hand cups Tsuna through his pants.

And Tsuna jumps at the touch, flushing even more because he's—he's kind of half-hard just from the kissing and he hadn't even realized it, not really. Gokudera's broad hand, stroking slow and steady, is only making it worse—or better, really, because it's not like—not like it doesn't feel good, it's just kind of weird, different from having his own hand on himself, and really different from feeling skin on skin.

When Gokudera looks at him questioningly he nods and lets Gokudera pull out the shiny leather belt (which has two extra holes punched in to fit his smaller teenage waist) and unzip the black slacks, lets Gokudera push aside his boxers and wrap his larger hand around Tsuna and—yeah, that's _definitely_ good, and even if it's still a little weird. The feeling fades fast, though (and Tsuna wonders a little guiltily if it's so good because Gokudera's had practice doing this for the older him, whether that's why his eyes look so sad when they see him wandering the base instead of his adult self.). Tsuna rocks into Gokudera's differently-callused touch, feeling kind of embarrassed at himself for being so, so eager, but not so much he wants to stop. Not at all.

The first touch of Gokudera's tongue is totally unexpected and kind of makes Tsuna jump, but when he doesn't pull away or say anything, Gokudera keeps going. Tsuna fists his small hands in the expensive fabric of Gokudera's shirt as his mouth works around him, hot and wet, wetter than the kissing, and—and he keeps doing things with his tongue that Tsuna can't even imagine in his head but feel really, really good. He watches the lean curve of Gokudera's bent back and wonders a little dazedly whether or not this is what, what sex feels like—well, this kind of _is_ sex, but like, _actual_ sex (and maybe Gokudera had done this for the older him too) and—

—and Tsuna comes harder than he's ever come in his life, than all those furtive nights curled up in his bed and hoping no one suddenly walks in or gets thrown in through the window or something. He comes so hard that he sees stars, that his legs feel weak and shaky, and suddenly he's holding on to Gokudera's fancy shirt a _lot_ harder than he was before, because it's that or fall on his behind.

"B-Boss!" Gokudera hurriedly wipes his mouth (the mouth where Tsuna had just—oh god, did he really—in his _mouth_—) with the back of his hand and helps him down to the hardwood floor, so he can lay down and take a breather. "Are you—did I—are you alright?"

"I'm fine," Tsuna pants. He notices the bulge in Gokudera's pants and flushes even more—well, duh, of course, right? But it's different knowing than _seeing_ that—what Gokudera did was enough to, to make him hard too. "You—you should—you too."

"Boss—" Gokudera tries to say, but Tsuna's paws clumsily at the skull buckle of his belt, because Gokudera had just—yeah, and it'd be rude not to return the favor, right? Especially when they're friends, different times and dead hims or not. Gokudera stays where he is, on his knees by Tsuna's side and hunched over, while Tsuna fumbles and pulls his cock out of his boxers, awkwardly jerking the older man off. He—it feels so much _bigger_ than his own, his hand fits around it differently, and Tsuna wonders, feeling his face heat up even more, whether _his_ will ever be that big if he grows up.

Gokudera comes all over his own shirt with a muffled noise that sounds like maybe he stopped himself midway, his brow furrowed like he's—he's maybe thinking of someone else (who looks just like Tsuna, but taller, and deserving of all this faith and trust). When he finishes, he grabs Tsuna's hand and wipes it clean on his own pants before Tsuna can say a word, before collapsing on the ground next to him.

Neither of them say much of anything for a while.

Tsuna still doesn't quite know how to deal with the Gokudera of his time, much less this older Gokudera—the one who's crumbling inside from the loss of a man Tsuna doesn't yet know. This Gokudera is a timebomb, not dynamite; instead of going off fast and sharp and no worse for wear, it's like he's ticking down to one last blast that will simply scrub him away, leaving nothing behind. Smokin' Crater Hayato.

But Tsuna's not the man this Gokudera wants him to be, and maybe he never will be, the way things are going. But Gokudera—whatever his age is, whatever age he _comes_ from—is still his friend, he's certain of that at least. If there's a way for him to ease Gokudera's pain then…then he'll take it, he'll do his best and he'll try, because as frightening and unpredictable as Gokudera can be, Tsuna still likes him and cares about him as much as he does Yamamoto, or Kyoko, or Reborn—as he values _all_ of his friends, mafia or no.

"It's going to be okay," Tsuna says at last, resting a hand in Gokudera's feathery hair. "I'm…I'm still Vongola Tenth and you're, you're still my right-hand man, right? All the Guardians are here, right, and we've got Reborn and Lal and everyone with us too. We'll—we can fix whatever went wrong. We can." He wishes he could believe it. "We _will_. All of us, together. As—as a family."

Gokudera curls closer to his side and sighs a word that might be "Tenth" and might be "Tsuna" or might be nothing at all.


End file.
